Just Do It and Do It Now

I've fallen out of practice. I haven't posted in awhile and I haven't written anything outside of my daily morning pages. That's bad. Or is it? In reality we shouldn't judge. Life happens, priorities, and we all react differently. And in all fairness (not that I need to defend or justify my action), it's not from a lack of desire, it's just a shift in focus. This post is of many themes and the things that are battling for my attention the past couple of weeks.

You see, I have been leaning towards minimalism for many years. I first learned about minimalism in 2017, but maybe I was practicing it when I moved to Paris in 2000 with a backpack and a duffel bag. I was twenty and full of that youthful naivety and spirit. Even thinking about minimalism now and that set up, the duffel bag was too much. But we all have different definitions, different comfort levels, different objectives, and different ways of learning. Everything is a process and we all have our own pace and way.

I am minimizing my effects. I have at least consolidated all of my things and gotten rid of a lot the past couple of years. It's all a process with phases and waves and how we deal with letting go of things. Although there is something to say about the Band-Aid method: Rip it off! fast and swift. It's painful to think of the shitty jobs I have done to get money and save up for the things I bought. Or the fire inside that lead me to buy the thing in the first place and the time I've had with it. But life is filled with infinite possibilities and phases. We have to embrace and accept these cycles.  

I still have my one big dream since childhood: to go on non-stop international adventures. Ideally perpetually and with the least amount of things. I have always been strongly drawn to the lone drifter adventure films. And I know I'm not alone on this. This is what I am gearing up to do and I am making moves to make this happen. Slowly. Part of the idea is to not burden my friends and family with my crap. Even if it's good crap--like my golf clubs, guitar, and ski clothes. I just sold my childhood sports cards collection last night. It took me a full eleven hour day to figure out a market valuation. Ugh. Even though I was happy to part with it I didn't want to just give it away. I got some money for it. And I'm realistically satisfied with it. The guy could make some money off it in time. I just wanted to sell the whole lot. And it was time someone else enjoy it.

Stop putting things off and stop procrastinating. It only makes it worse. This limbo and indecision is my biggest problem, and hence, the reason and root of my chronic anxiety and insomnia. Just do it and do it now. Make a decision and step into the unknown. It might hurt and be painful, but you'll come out stronger, better, and most likely healthier in the end. If you don't act now it just eats at you. Which is the worse thing. We just waste life. Life is about living and learning and dealing with uncertainty. And it's best to laugh as much as you can through it. Plus, we don't even know if we'll be alive tomorrow.

It saddens me to just have learned that the younger brother of a childhood friend of mine is no longer with us. He was forty years old. His passing makes me think about how precious and short life is. What's more alarming is I was just talking about this the other day: letting go. Whether its death, relationships, material possessions, seasonal sports). Everything has a beginning, a middle, and an end. We have to accept this. Especially the end. This is why I am a fan of four seasons--I find it healthy to have to accept them and deal with the end of them and move on. There's a bit of a mourning at the end of summer and winter. And the transitions, Spring and Fall, like all transitions, have a degree of choppiness and inconsistency as we mourn and change and adapt and morph. We remember the highs and lows. And we share it with family, friends, and the community. It brings us together. Bonds us. It strengthens our resolve, and heightens our humility. It makes life easier knowing we're not alone. Take it in. Accept it. Breathe. Then, act.