Listen to Your Inner Child

We all have an inner child. Five to be exact! (infant, toddler, preschool, school-age, and adolescent). Listen to him or her for both positive and negative demands. If we don't destruction will ensue. This doesn't mean he rules the roost. It means that if you further neglect what he is trying to tell you for too long the negative problem child starts to spew the negative energy, affecting your life, productivity, and relationships.

This means that whenever you feel bored, frightened, lonely, lacking love, slighted or rejected, tired, playing a competitive game, overreacting, hungry, unexpectedly exposed, stressed, or with your best friends (positive - laughing, having fun) you have to listen to him. Give yourself and your inner child a twenty minute break to sooth him and appease him. Give him the time and attention and see what he wants. If you can give it to him then, great. If he wants something bigger like a trip to an amusement park or a hike or camping, surfing, or traveling, then plan it and set it in motion.

We have to take care of our inner child. Most of us have sadly lost the daily playtime as adults as we fall victim (hate to say it) to social constructs and demands. We should all listen to what are inner child is trying to tell us.

Ways to connect with your inner child. First see which of the five developmental ages your inner child is at (infant, toddler, preschool, school-age, and adolescent).

1) Write a dialogue scene with him. Use your dominant hand as your adult you and your non-dominant hand as your inner child. (Doing things with your non-dominant hand has scientifically been proven to break habitual patterns and neurological pathways, which in turn promotes new ones, getting you unstuck). Tell him you are there for him. Ask him how he feels and then what he needs and wants.

2) Visualization: Close your eyes and visualize a large chair on the right and a smaller one on the left (like a high chair or directors chair) so you are both face to face at eye level, inner child on left and adult you on the right. And have a conversation with him. Again, telling him that you are there for him and then asking him how he feels, and what he needs and wants.

Affirmations are another great way to sooth your inner child. Say them, write them, hear them from a recording.

Stroke your inner child. We need stroking, both physical touch as well as intellectual praise and encouragement for both child and adult. Touch your arm or hug yourself, embrace a partner or family or friend, get a pet! The healing power of touch is profound. Give a seminar or speech or teach someone or volunteer or help someone and allow yourself to receive praise for your intellectual contributions.

There are many great resources on inner child work. Amongst them is John Bradshaw's Homecoming. I highly recommend it. Most of us have childhood trauma lingering, usually deep. And it doesn't matter what it is. All that matters is that some of your childhood needs and wants did not get fulfilled. I we have unconsciously allowed this neglected inner child to control our lives. And now we have the power to fulfill them and give that part of ourselves what we need. And only we, ourselves, can do it! No one else can fill that role of parent in a healthy way. You are your own new parent. Address it. And live a more abundantly healthier life. Let the creative fun begin! It's okay. You have permission! Much love.