Stop Being a People Pleaser and Focus on the Work
Recently I made the decision to travel instead of focusing on the work. Mistake? Maybe. Lesson learned? Absolutely.
Although it was good to see some friends and go to new places, in the back of my mind the work brewed and stewed. And in doing so, I couldn't relax. Let's face it--life is difficult. A paradoxical balancing act. We are social creatures who need belonging, acceptance, to be understood, physical contact, and yet most of us crave to be independent and unique and driven by a sense of purpose. I said yes to two different friends and two different locations, welcomed the distraction, and paid the price....
Although it costs money to travel, it wasn't about that. It was about being derailed from my purpose and the routine that I was building into a habit. Daily habits like: meditation, breath work, visualization, stretching, exercising, reading, and writing. I'm in Europe to finish writing a book and build a coaching business. I'm finding it difficult to find a place that ticks the ideal boxes of how I wanted it to be this summer. Simple: sun and sea. But it is incredibly difficult to find a place at a reasonable price and that isn't overrun by mass tourism and have access to fresh affordable meat to feed my carnivore lifestyle. Although peak season is over and you might find some places now, pretty soon they will turn into ghost towns. Spooky. And then, isolation and loneliness augment. I'm not keen to live my version of The Shining. Now, I'm having to think about long-term and winter.
Anyway, I said yes, when I should have said no. I pleased my friends instead of focusing on my work, my purpose. It was great seeing my friends. But my purpose takes precedence. Our purpose requires discipline and dedication. Not distraction. I could have seen them at a later date. It's okay to say no. We have to have boundaries to be fully developed mature adults. Heck, even children should set up boundaries and practice committed discipline. We are responsible for ourselves.
Being a people pleaser actually hurts you in the long run. It can be interpreted as being inauthentic. Which in turn can have adverse effects on your biochemistry and physiology. Hello stress, tension, joint pain, headache, inner conflict, anxiety, depression, mood swings, cancer, autoimmune diseases, and other illnesses. You know what the better choice is. Be true to yourself and your purpose. Be brave. Be courageous. Be confident. Say no and stop being a people pleaser. Focus on your work. When you do other opportunities will come into your life that are more aligned with your true authentic self and your purpose.
Technique: Close your eyes. Hand on your heart. Breathe in. Hold it for a few seconds. Slow exhale. Forgive yourself. Let it go. Move on. Back to your purpose.